I just got back from my family vacation in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. The place where people go to get away, unwind, relax… and apparently, take an ungodly amount of pictures and videos for Instagram.
The 16 year old girl who’s posing like a model on the dock while her friend snaps photos and a family pauses awkwardly so they don’t disturb the shot (this happened to us, multiple times). The couple who records themselves kissing in front of the sunset only to then use it as a b-roll reel to promote their online course. The group of friends who spend 10 minutes taking pictures of their food but don’t actually eat any of it. It’s curated. It’s aesthetic. It’s fake.
Is it fair for me to judge? Probably (definitely) not. I’m writing this as someone who spent four years of her life posting content online every day. What I was eating, doing, wearing, watching, learning. I get it. I used to be the person who would stress out if I couldn’t get the perfect shot for social media. The person who announced, “phone eats first!” at the Thanksgiving dinner table. The person who derived all of her self worth from the follows, saves, and likes. You could say I was one of the worst culprits of the very thing that I’m writing about- the fact that we’re perfectly okay with being on our phones, attempting to get content, rather than actually living our lives in the present moment.
And there are two sides to this. The first being the pressure that comes with taking and posting the content, and the second being the anxiety and insecurity that comes with viewing other people’s content. It’s a never ending cycle of rewards and let downs. Highs and lows. And we seem to be okay with this.
But we’re certainly not okay. It’s unsustainable. It’s (for lack of better words) weird.
It’s weird that we spend more time watching strangers’ lives online than we do actually living our own. It’s weird that I know what a random influencer from California had for breakfast on a Tuesday (I live in Ohio). It’s weird that I’m sitting at dinner with my family, stressed out because if we don’t pay the bill in ten minutes then I will miss the sunset and any chance I had at making my life seem exceedingly better than it is by posting said sunset online. It’s… weird. And exhausting. And sad.
I’m not writing this to make anyone feel bad or embarrassed, or to guilt trip you into quitting social media. That’s entirely your decision. I’m writing this to shed light on something that I just can’t stop noticing. Are we really okay living this way? Does it have to be this way? I certainly don’t think so. But observing and doing something about it is much harder than continuing on with the cycle that keeps us stuck. So we post. And we scroll. And we miss moments. And we feel incredibly unhappy.
And we continue wondering why.
Wishing you less time on your screen,
-Emily