My story with social media: how I grew a following of 35,000 people and walked away from it all.
Before you sit down to read this post, please note that it’s not a quick skim. I think of these words as 1-2 chapters in a book. If you don’t have time to read it all in one sitting, I’d suggest saving this page and making a note to come back to it.
It’s been hard lately… to come up with topics to talk about. To write. To create anything that other people might see. To engage with my email list. To post a blog. To put myself out there.
I’m a perfectionist, yes, but I also posted about my life online every day for three and a half years straight. It takes a toll on you, as one can imagine. Part of me never wants to share a single thing online ever again. The other part of me still wants to create, to open up about my experiences, to break the mold of what we as creators and business owners think we “need to do” to be successful and feel fulfilled.
But posting on social media, being on social media in general, is not real fulfillment. It never will be. Yet we’re chasing something on these platforms that we think real life cannot give us. Followers. Likes. Dopamine. Relationships. Beauty. Laughter. Purpose. Motivation. Money. I could keep going.
And maybe some of these things are true. Maybe you get a laugh from a video on Instagram reels. Maybe you meet your partner online. Maybe that new moisturizer you bought from an influencer on Tiktok helped clear your acne and now you feel more confident.
But what about getting tickets to see a local comedian on a Thursday night? What about starting a cookbook club (highly recommend) or going to an in-person dating event? What about asking the worker at Ulta what moisturizer she recommends… and then inviting her to your cookbook club?
My point is- real life can give us what we’re searching for and then some. We just have to be willing to look up from our phones to see it.
My story with social media:
I first entered the world of social media marketing/influencing in early 2020 (by complete accident). It was the start of COVID, I had just moved out of my college dorm back home, and I was bored. The main thing that kept me sane during this time was exercise- specifically, basement workouts.
My friends knew I was creating these at-home workouts and they wanted to do them with me, so I began sending them videos. Eventually, they encouraged me to start my own Instagram account to share these workouts with other people. I called it @energy.with.emily.
It was so much fun. There was no pressure. No reels or trends to follow. And I had only a few followers. I was doing it because I genuinely wanted to, not because I had a goal of going viral, making money, or starting my own business.
My account was growing slowly (but it was growing!) and this was fun for me. I started sharing more about my weight loss journey, nutrition, what I was eating, more about my personal story, etc. People were DMing me and I felt like I was truly creating a community on the app.
When I hit my first 1,000 followers, Zach got me this cookie:
But during this time I was also going through my own struggles: dealing with disordered eating, body dysmorphia, anxiety, depression, feeling lost and purposeless, getting off of my SSRI. It was the perfect storm. I began documenting these things on my account. It felt like a personal diary, an outlet I didn’t have before. And the best part? I was helping other people feel less alone in their struggles.
My account quickly went from workout videos to eating disorder and mental health awareness. I was so proud of this growth. I also changed my major to nutrition… I wanted to become a dietitian, start my own business, and help people recover from disordered eating.
Anddd now ladies and gentlemen, cue: Tiktok. The app where I went viral.
I can remember exactly which video did it. I can remember watching the views rise each time I refreshed the app. Remember watching the comments and follows and likes roll in. I felt like I was at a casino, and I had just won big.
This was my first real encounter with the rush (as I like to call it).
Up until that point of hitting 1M views on Tiktok, my content was only for my small group of followers… mainly people I already knew in real life. Once I realized that I could reach more people that easily, everything changed for me.
I began posting more consistently (every day) on both Instagram and Tiktok. I was showing up on stories and sharing more about my personal life. I was promoting the heck out of my accounts. My following quickly grew. The first two years were definitely a period of “high” for me. Nothing could go wrong!!! I could do this forever!!! I finally had a purpose!!!
Side bar: I think it’s important to note here that I still didn’t understand the world of influencing at this time. I didn’t consider myself one and I never made a dollar from my account. In the three and a half years of me posting, I had two brands send me their products to promote, but other than that… nothing. I didn’t have a desire to go down that route.
Let’s fast forward to year three: 2023
At this point, I’m up to around 35k followers on Tiktok and Instagram combined. I started an email list and had around 150 people join. I was proud of these numbers, but I know that nowadays, it’s easy to surpass those numbers in a short period of time.
It was my last year in undergrad before starting graduate school, and the pressure was starting to build. I was restless in my classes. All I could think about was starting my business. It became all consuming. I began following all of these online business and marketing experts, trying to learn everything I could… But it only led to more overwhelm, pressure, and the feeling that I was failing before I had even begun.
My posting had started to change. It was more calculated, more “salesy” as one would put it. It no longer felt like me, but a sub-par version of what these experts said it needed to look like to build a business. I was no longer having fun (and that was the whole point, right?! *cue the eye twitching*) The only things I cared about at this time were the numbers: the views, the likes, the shares, the followers, the email subscribers, the engagement… It took everything in me to NOT think about those things as I was making dinner with my boyfriend. As I was working out in the gym. Celebrating a friend’s birthday. Doing laundry. Reading. Eating. Sleeping.
It was a complete obsession, and I knew I had to do something about it if I wanted to feel better (mentally and physically).
That fall, my last semester in undergrad, I made the decision to take my first ever social media break. Up until this point, I had posted online *almost every day* for 3 and a half years. Shit. I had a community of over 35k people that I worked my ass off to grow, and it was my plan that I was going to use these accounts to build my business after becoming an RD. But why did it feel so hard? Would people miss me? Forget about me? Would I ever grow my account again? Would I lose followers? Would this be the end of my business plan?
(I now know the answer to some of those irrational thoughts, but not all… and that’s okay).
During this social media break, I also decided that I did not want to pursue my graduate degree to become an RD, and that having a normal degree in nutrition would do just fine. I’d take a year off to work, to possibly start a business, to learn new skills, to start new hobbies, etc., and if I wanted to come back, I could. I had to get back to doing what Emily wanted to do, not what I thought my professors or online business gurus would want me to do.
I also got my first tattoo during this time. Go figure.
And that was that. I was no longer posting on my account. I graduated with my degree in nutrition (and realized I wasn’t really that interested in it anyways)… and for the first time in a long time, I felt… better.
Another sidebar: Throughout my time in college, I worked for a dietitian who ran her own online coaching business. This was an integral part of my journey. I loved entrepreneurship, and working for her gave me the skills and insight I needed to realize that marketing and business strategy were more in my wheel-house. I was good at these things, and after a year and a half of working for her- I completely took them over in her business.
January, 2024
No more school. No more social media.
I’m now working full time (ish) for the dietitian I mentioned above- running her operations and marketing. I’m still feeling lost about what to do next. Do I focus on my work for her? Or, do I see if I can help more small business owners grow in the same way?
Naturally, it happened, well… naturally.
I started getting referrals from the woman I worked for, and I officially landed my first marketing client in February 2024. I was ecstatic. I could really do this, I thought!!! After a month or two of getting referrals and meeting more people, I was officially capped with clients.
The impact social media has had on my ability to create and share:
All of 2024 was a complete experiment (It felt like a mess, really). A major part of that experiment was social media and how to navigate marketing as a business owner. Unfortunately, I did try to get back online multiple times from January 2024 to October 2024. My @energy.with.energy account was completely shut down, so I started a new Instagram account for my business. I thought a fresh start would help me fall back in love with posting… but it didn’t. It only created more stress, more comparison, and more time spent on my phone. The cycle was happening again.
“But if I’m not on social media, how am I going to grow my business?”
“I only have 50 followers. My business is failing.”
“If I don’t post today, I might not have any clients next month”
“Look at how much money that person is making…”
These are just a few examples of the constant thoughts running through my head during the day. How is anyone supposed to run a business, create and foster relationships, do good work, be a good partner, take care of themselves, FUNCTION with those thoughts on repeat???? They can’t, and I basically didn’t.
So yes, I was on and off social media all throughout 2024… and it was an epic fail (in the best way!) When I did post about myself or my business, it was basically a carbon copy of someone else’s content. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t original. It was whatever I thought I had to post to get another client, to make the algorithm like me, or to go viral and be seen. Blah. I was obsessive. Changing my mind every other day. “Oh maybe I’ll do this! Or This… Or this!!!” My work suffered, my relationships suffered, and my creativity suffered.
I was no longer doing things for me. Hell, I didn’t even know what I wanted. I felt like I was back at square one. Again.
My content also kept me in a box. If I wasn’t talking about business and marketing, would people care? Would people unfollow? Could I talk about my new knitting project I started? Could I share the restaurant I went to on Friday night? Could my account be more than one thing? Could it just be… me?
It never could, and this translated to real life, too.
I became one thing. The girl who runs a small business and posts on social media.
My point to all of this is this: Use social media carefully. If you have a healthy relationship with it, by all means use it, because I do think it can be a powerful tool to grow a brand, business, or mission. However, if you’re someone like me and social media causes you more harm than good, then consider taking a break! Just see what life (and your business) could be like without it.
You might be really surprised.
As for me, I’m still off of social media. You’ll see me checking my clients’ feeds every now and then to give feedback, but other than that, I’m not posting and I’m not scrolling. It feels good. I have more time back in my day, more focus, and less pressure to figure out my “grand purpose in life.”
I’ve come to realize that I truly am doing just fine.
Until next time,
Emily
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