My grandpa is dying of congestive heart failure and I’m spending too much time on my phone.
Over the past three days, I stayed back home in Columbus, OH taking care of my grandpa while my parents were at work. He’s older-ish (77 still seems so young to me) and was just diagnosed with CHF after gaining 20lbs of fluid over night, realizing that yes, in fact, he cannot actually breathe, and then making a quick trip to the hospital.
This man cannot cook. And now, he’s struggling to get around. Granddaughter duty activated.
I made him a lot of bland food (Mrs. Dash tried her best), took him to get a pedicure, listened to him talk about politics, helped him walk, snuck him some chocolate when mom wasn’t looking, made sure to get his BP, sugars, and weight each day, etc. I never thought I could be a nurse, but damn, maybe I was wrong.
Before heading back to Cincinnati, I said my goodbyes, and then… The most unexpected thing happened.
He cried.
I don’t think he was expecting it. I certainly wasn’t. This man never cries.
A rush of emotion washed over me.
Shit, shit, shit. Hold it together, Emily.
He thanked me for all of my help. For being patient with him. For caring and cooking and cleaning and talking and driving and doing all the things… He told me that he was proud. Proud of who I’ve become, and proud of my parents for making me that way.
I told him I’d see him soon.
The look in his eyes told me there was a part of him that wondered if that was true.
I didn’t want to think about it.
I cried a lot in that 2 hour car ride home. Cried thinking about him. About my parents. About life in general. How often do we stop and think about how fragile life really is? How lucky we are for just being here? How incredible it is that we get to hug our loved ones and eat ice cream and stub our toes and finish a good book and belly laugh with our best friends and dry our tears and walk on the beach and, and, and…
I don’t want to look back and realize I missed out on those moments because I was on my phone (or thinking about the next time I could be on my phone). That’s one of the main reasons why I decided to quit social media. For myself, and for my business.
While I hope I didn’t make you too sad reading this, I do hope you can take something away from it. Maybe it will spark the change you need to be more present and active in your life. To put the phone down. To go hug a loved one.
Because unlike that tiny screen, we don’t have forever.
And I don’t want to waste another second.
Until next time,
Emily